The right time for Marriage Counseling
August 12, 2009 by Timothy Allen
Filed under Marriage
After a couple says “I do” in a perfect word, they live happily ever after. Unfortunately, we do not live in a perfect world. And a lot of times, after the wedding day, that is when trouble happens.
Whatever the reason, all of a sudden it turns from a happy relationship to a cold and bitter relationship.
In this article, I am going to draw on my experience as a family counselor to help a couple decide, when is it time for a couple to seek marriage counseling.
Arguments, disagreements, and fights do happen.In most marriages it is very likely to happen.But if it persists, there is a time to decide for the couple on whether this is normal or part of everyday life. Or if is too much and time to seek help.
Because if you leave a problem within the marriage unchecked, this could be the beginning of a horrible divorce.
So for couples seeking to keep their marriage, here are some key signs to look for and decide if marriage counseling is needed.
The first sign is bickering, do you guys bicker a lot?Do insignificant things cause arguments? Although small and subtle this could be the beginning of something bigger.
Second, do you guys find it hard to say anything nice about each other? This shows you that you two are holding contempt for each other and that is not beneficial.
A third issue to look at is do you find the level of respect between the two of you is gone?In every relationship, the couple must respect each other.
Fourth sign, do you find a loss of intimacy with each other? This is not just for sex, although this is part of it.Does is seem like the two of you aren’t as close as you once were?
Fifth, are you happier when your spouse is not around?This sign is not good and the beginning of a break up.
Sixth thing to look at have you lost trust of one another? One of the most important things for a married couple is trust.When you are living and sharing your intimate moments you have to have trust.
Finally, has there been some infidelity with one of you?Of course it seems obvious and simple.Sometimes when this does occur, unfortunately some couples choose to ignore it rather than try to deal with the issues.
Of course there are plenty of other signs. But these are some big ones when deciding if it is time to seek a marriage counselor.
If you find yourself experiencing these situations, and saving your marriage is what you want.You have get some professional advice that will help you find ways to help solve these problems.
A lot of times, a third viewpoint is very helpful for the situation, and this is why a family counselor can help.
Key Ways How To Save Your Marriage
August 11, 2009 by Timothy Allen
Filed under Marriage
When two individuals commit to each other and/or their marriage vows, it the vast majority of cases they hope it is forever. Nevertheless be prepared that sometimes things might happen to undermine that ideal. If you are trying to work on how to save a relationship due to some type of dishonesty or infidelity, then you should focus on rebuilding the trust in your marriage. It’s certainly the only way to get back to the key fundamentals that will hold you both, and your marriage, together.
Trust happens to be the foundation of a marriage. Without it, it’s highly likely the marriage will have a hard time surviving. Keep in mind, particularly in the difficult times of your marriage, what exactly it is about your partner that you love so much. Reminiscing about the endearing qualities of your partner, and the good times you have had together, can help motivate you to work towards rebuilding your marriage.
It’s important to recognise, before anything that both parties are committed on saving the relationship and marriage. Without complete commitment from both parties, sadly any chance of reconciliation is likely doomed. Be sure, you both need to understand that you both want it before you can work even attempt to work towards holding on to it.
Learning how to save your marriage will take time and effort. How much time and effort depends on your specific situation. Below are some tips that can help you in your journey.
Tip #1: Commit to the idea that you will either forgive your spouse, or you will forgive yourself for what has happened to break down the marriage. Neither of you will likely forget what the other person has done, but it is important that you forgive so that you can move on from the past and start rebuilding trust.
Tip#2: Make sure that with each other you are honest and open about your feelings. Seeking counselling for the benefit of mediation would most likely be the best solution. Be doing this, you can much more easily keep an eye on your emotional controls, as you attempt to work through the difficult spots.
Tip #3 Be prepared to take full responsibility for all your actions. Be prepared that if you say something that’s hurtful, or do something inconsiderate, whilst trying to save your marriage, make sure you own up to it and put it right. Other wise you’ll only be creating further challenges that could undermine the marriage.
The process of how to save your marriage is not going to be easy. However, if it is worth it to you both, then you and your partner will commit to working towards getting to a better place, where trust and respect are renewed.
Extract taken from full review and article at Save My Marriage Today Review
