Making Up With A Power Apology
June 9, 2009 by Timothy Allen
Filed under Communication
Most of us never really learned much about how to apologize. We all know how to say “I’m sorry” of course. But beyond that, we don’t know what to do or say to seek forgiveness. When you wronged your mate and want to get your ex back, just saying I’m sorry won’t cut it.
There is a free course you can download instantly on this at Making Up With Your Ex Fast.
There are much more impactful ways of apologizing, however. When you’ve been dumped by your ex for wronging them in some way, you will need to use what can be called a Power Apology.
Power apologies have several steps to them before you ever get around to saying I’m sorry. They can get your ex to a place of forgiveness and reconnection sometimes in just minutes or hours when followed step by step. Here are the crucial steps to apologizing in a way that can your ex to forgive you:
The very first step is to admit to what you did wrong. Be an adult. Don’t give a bunch of lame excuses like “it didn’t mean anything!” When you own up to what you did wrong, your ex can begin to take your apology seriously.
Step Two is to shadow their upset feelings. This means that you tell them how what you did made them feel, as far as you understand it. You’ll say something like “I know by cheating on you I made you feel betrayed and humiliated and furious…” When you shadow or mirror their emotions, your ex will start to feel heard at a deep level, like you truly do understand what you did wrong.
The third thing is to let them vent and get their hurt feelings off their chest. You listen and let them tell you how they feel about what you did. You just want to make them feel heard and understood, so you listen and don’t defend or try to explain yourself.
To understand more about the power of venting, you can check out the information at a site on Relationship Intelligence.
Now you are making a powerful apology! You are being an adult, taking responsibility for what you did, mirroring their feelings, and letting them vent. This is crucial to helping your ex release and let go of their negative feelings, which they have to do before they can truly forgive you.
Finally you can now actually say I’m sorry and apologize. Now it will likely get accepted by your ex.
Part 2 of this article discusses the steps to take after you’ve apologized, and it can be seen here at Get Ex Back Part 2.
